Charlize Theron and the luckiest phone ever created
Jon Stewart, looking slightly high and holding a very phallic microphone. I know I said babes, but he might as well be. Yes, I have a man crush on him.
Fiona Apple, doing her best to look like a 18th century 12-year-old child. Love me. I'll never treat you badly. I'll always be there when you need to cry.
Anna Kendrick, looking like she probably did when I winked at her (in my dream). You know how you walk down the street and you see someone great looking, but you're not necessarily sure why you feel that way? That's how I feel about this lady.
Meryl Streep, probably looking down at the rest of Hollywood and smiling wryly with the knowledge that she has more talent than the rest of them put together.

