A defense of and a message for Mother's Day

Alright, so...Mother's Day came and only sort of went.

I wanted to say something on this day for my mother, and her mother, and my father's mother, and everyone else's mother. Oh, and, of course, to future mothers.

Mother's Day can be claimed to be another holiday to make money with cards, candies and curios. I can certainly see the point. But I think it forgets something: there was a time, not so long ago, when giving birth to a child was a life-threatening attempt. That's still true in too many countries throughout this world. We should appreciate our mothers because, by dint only of location of birth, they were able to be safer when they birthed us. Basically, we should recognize our mothers as an appreciation for all mothers everywhere, especially those who give their lives for the lives of their children, whether in childbirth or in defense of their child's life.

||||||||||||||||||||||

Now, I'd like to say something for my mothers (Mom, Nana, Grandma Chin, Lala, Grandma D, Pat, Aunt Roe, etc.) Obviously, some of these people are more my mother than others. But each of them has the same look in their eye when they talk or talked with me: a combination of love and pride with a tinge of fear that they might be screwing up. Everything here will not have pictures. I know that I like to put up my pictures of my subjects, but I don't have anyone's permission, and I feel like that's kind of a crappy thing to do for people I love.

My true grandmothers are Nana and Grandma Chin. My Nana is on my mother's side, and, oddly, lives in Atlanta. My mother's not from there, I'm not from there, no one in my family is, and yet, she's set up camp there now. *Shrugs* Anyway, I love her since she's the grandmother who's, historically, always pampered me. She's a beautiful woman full of life and vigor. Granted, she takes more naps now than ever, but she's still up for traveling and loves to hear about new music and new literature (she just doesn't like it all).

Grandma Chin is, logically, on the other side of the family. She passed when I was young, but I do remember one thing about her. She had a cane, but I can't remember why she did. She used to sit in this chair in the dining room of her house; she would eat something there and hang her cane on the bottom of the stair case railing. I, as a rambunctious child, would run around the house, which wasn't hard since it was basically a square. I would run from the living room to the darkly lit wooden porch, pass the orange wall-papered bathroom through to the lime green kitchen and hit the dining room and then the front door, which would light up the bottom of the staircase. Once, as I was running, and apparently far more cunning than I can ever recall being, I grabbed her cane and ran with it for a lap. Grandma laughed since she was sitting at the table eating; I guess she figured she didn't need it and I could play with it. What she didn't realize, as I said, was that I was plotting something. As I ran again, I grabbed her sandwich. She was angry, naturally, and went for her cane. Realizing that, in one hand, I had her sandwich, and, in the other, her cane, she sat back down and chuckled to herself. (She probably thought I was going to become a thief when I grew up. Or worse, a master strategist for the army!)

I was the first child of my mother and father, so they often, quite correctly, refer to me as the guinea pig child. My mother had to guess with me; whether it was with the best doctor in the city, which diaper brand was the sturdiest or how to go about the college application process, I was the one who paved the way for my sister. This isn't meant to sound bitter or angry toward my sister or anyone else; I hope I didn't convey that. I only wish to convey my profound thankfulness towards her for dealing with all of it with love, (mostly) honesty, curiosity and a hug waiting for me at the end of the day.

I wish I had more time to sum up every other mother in my life. Heck, I'd love to have more time to sum up every woman in my life. But I can't at the moment since it's almost 2 am. (This is where Mel laughs and says, "I've chatted with you much later than that." To which I say, shut up, you in-the-future-living, koala-petting, McDonald's-loving creep.)

Oh, and Harim, I promise. After the tour, your post is next. You know which one I'm talking about, right?

I Heart New York, Part 1

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve updated. I’ve been busy with a real life- what? Are you really mad about that?

With that in mind, I wanted to take a trip around New York. Maybe you guys can see why it is that I’ve been busy. Since, you know, this city is soooooo boring. Besides, I was visited by an old school friend who’s been living in LA since she left about 13 years ago, so tours of New York have been on my mind. Mel , from Mel Learns Her Lessons, made one recently about Sydney, so this is sort of inspired by her, as well.

Mel had it as an itinerary of about five days and had it spliced up depending on the day. I’m not sure I can do that seeing as this city is huge. I have a feeling you’re probably going to have to visit again just to see enough to say you know New York. Nonetheless, I’m going to give this a try.

Now, what gives me the authority to do this? I’m a native of the city, born along the East River in a high rise hospital right off of 70th Street in Manhattan. If anyone’s able to do this, it’s me.


This is from the Roosevelt Island Tram looking at Manhattan (that bridge on the left is the 59th Street Bridge, like the one from the Simon and Garfunkel song), so I was born a few blocks up from where we're looking.

Day 1- This is probably the best chance, especially if it’s a weekday, to do all the touristy stuff and get you used to the pace of the city. We’ll hit up Times Square, the Disney-fied madhouse of the city, filled with tourists who I always want to strangle when I’m around them (since they’re basically morons who clog streets by not knowing how to walk or deal with people- see what I mean about the pace?) I’m really not usually violent, and I don’t have a problem with tourists, but something about all those annoying bright lights and mess of people makes me go a little berserk. Anyway, we’ll also see the Main Library, also on 42nd Street, and Grand Central (Terminal or Station, take your pick, but most New Yorkers just drop both). Then we’ll head down to 34th Street from there and find the Empire State Building, since it’s so difficult to find. If you really want to wait the 4 hours for a chance to go to the top, be my guest. I’ll go do something productive while you’re waiting.


Yes, those are people...sitting in the street? You have no idea how much this boggled people's minds for awhile.

As it’s getting late and the airlines stopped serving food a long time ago, we’ll head back uptown a bit and grab some Ethiopian food at one of my favorite restaurants in Manhattan, Queen of Sheba. But before that, we’ll grab an early vodka at the Russian Vodka Room, an old man lounge of Russians who fled with Perestroika. Then, with our dinner, we’ll get a decanter of Ethiopian honey wine (it’s like mead), which will warm the cockles of the coldest of hearts. You’ll also get drunker than an ant drowning in a barrel of wine. Then, we’ll head to my favorite bar/restaurant in Manhattan (but not in Brooklyn) called the Delta Grill for a few drinks, some Led Zeppelin (they love to play “When the Levee Breaks,” which seems masochistic when you find out the owners are all from New Orleans) and some tasty, tasty Cajun snacks. Then we’ll stumble our way home and live to fight another day.


Yeah, I can deal with the crowds in Grand Central. They have a place to go, most of the time.

Mel, I promise I would come up with way more creative solutions for the drinking. Like buying a few dozen cannolis at La Bella Ferrara in Little Italy or Veneiro’s in the East Village, and watch the drunks pass by and laugh as they fall. Then, we’d get super sick from all the sugar and then we’d probably start making friends with the drunken kids by offering them one.


This is the best shot I have ever seen of the Empire State Building. And I've taken a water taxi at night and still didn't see this.

Day 2- Whew. What hangovers. Let’s go walk this off. We’ll start with a nice big brunch at Tom’s in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. They have lines running around the block for their food, with a cult following the likes I’ve never seen for brunch. We love our brunches up here. I’ll get my usual, the Florentine omelet made with lots of feta and a side of the smoothest grits this side of the Mississippi with two big mugs of coffee. They’ll bring around cookies and we’ll eat our fill.

Then we’ll walk all this off along Flatbush Avenue. Maybe, when we pass BAM- the Brooklyn Academy of Music- we’ll stop in for an afternoon indie film (maybe a Gondry, Mel, if you’re lucky?) Then, we’ll keep pressing on ‘till we hit Brooklyn Heights. There, I’ll offer you a choice- the best pizza in the city and a fairly long wait at Grimaldi’s (you want to cause a fight among New Yorkers? Ask them where to get the best pizza; some will say Original Ray’s, some will say Di Fara, some will say Lombardi’s, some will say Lucali; I say Grimaldi’s with Di Fara a close second). Or we could have amazing Yiddish food with touches from the Afro-Caribbean neighborhood at Junior’s. (Oh, also, they have the best cheesecake I’ve ever had- by a long, long, long mile). Oh, and Junior’s almost never has a wait, since they take up about quarter of a Brooklyn block, which are usually twice as large as Manhattan blocks. Either way, you choose. We finish our food satisfied. (Some of this is beginning to read like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" novel).


See? Grimaldi's is the best. Oh man, I'm hungry now.

We walk off all of that by getting on the Brooklyn Bridge. We cross the Bridge; hopefully, the sun’s starting to set. If it is, we’re very lucky because this is the best place to be near sunset. Even if it isn’t, it’s still absolutely gorgeous. On the Manhattan side, we find City Hall and the courts. If you’re a Law and Order fan, you’re going to enjoy this since this is where they shoot all those courthouse steps scenes. We’ll walk along Battery Park. Again, hopefully, the timing is right. There’s a beautiful spot, a lookout point that I stumbled upon one day on a date. I looked like a great date, since it's such a romantic spot- it has a clear shot of the Statue of Liberty, and at night, when all the lights are on it, it’s like there’s no one else in the world but you and the statue. Then, once we’ve wrested our gaze from her, we wing the rest of the night, but I have a feeling we’re both pretty tired.


That's technically the Brooklyn Bridge Park, but I can't think of a place in New York I would rather be at that time of night.

With that, I think I’m going to cut us. I promise I’ll return to the subject in a few days. (Always leave them hanging, eh?) I have a special something planned for tomorrow and then I hope I’ll have the chance to finish up this touring piece for Monday. If not Monday, then Tuesday. See?


Lady Liberty in all her glory. This is the most poetic shot I've ever seen of her, except, due to fog, you can't see the statue lit up like I was talking about.

Oh, I feel bad about calling out Mel twice and no one else, so since I have only four followers…I’ll call y’all out: Valerie, Harim, Benny. There you go.